Muti-function combinative torch mosquito swatter.

This probably qualifies as the most bizarre, creative and entertaining wedding present that Monsieur J and I have received thus far.

Sent with love from friends in Italy, I think we're pretty lucky that French customs agents didn't intercept it. Careful inspection of the packaging yields no information regarding the company and only some rudimentary explanations concerning correct product usage, such as:

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1. Grip the handle, press the switch button to initiate power on the nets and light up the red indication lamp. Be sure to keep pressing the switch button while hitting bugs.

2. Never shall we get any shock or danger when we touch (not squeeze) the outer nets, so we can flap mosquito stopping on our skin with this safe swatter directly withou* shocks.

3. Once the mosquito get in touch with the swatter net, it certainly will not be able to escalpe*, it may be either drawn into the innernet or fastened by static force to the outer net, but when any part of its body approach* the inner net, it will eventually get shocks and zapped immediately.

*all misspellings are represented here as seen on the packaging

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There are also a few warnings, most notably the one that reads, "this swatter is not a toy for children." Indeed, this is not intended for children, but it's a heck of a lot of fun for adults!

We've been having cool nights here in Toulouse, which means our windows have been open. However, we live in the land-of-no-screens, where this means one thing: bugs.

Mosquitoes that buzz in your ear, flies that hover in the kitchen, gnats that flitter aimlessly around the livingroom, enough is enough!

Before we would rudimentarily hunt the offender, perhaps armed with a newspaper or just a bare hand. Now, Monsieur J and I delight in swatting bugs with our racquets. Successful zapping is hard to miss. There's the loud "crack!" and the sparks, sometimes deep blue ones.

Romantic, right?

No bun in this oven.

Great news! Monsieur J and I will be tying the knot 3 weeks from today. WOW! Can you believe it? Planning a wedding in just 3 weeks? This has the potential to become a new reality TV show if you ask me! And as the title of this post indicates, we're not getting married because of any buns in the proverbial oven. I promise. Instead we came to the realization that a work permit and residency card all rolled into one will be conferred upon yours truly once we get married, and probably not before. Since we were planning on getting married this summer anyway, why not move up the date? Being engaged is great, but not if it means not being able to work and not being able to stay in the country. It seemed like a no-brainer. In the meantime, that leaves 21 precious days to plan! One of my super-organized friends suggested making a to-do list, great idea K:

[X] find a dress pour moi


[X] find a suit for Monsieur J.


[X] arrange for a bouquet and corsage at the florist


[X] figure out exactly how many people are coming


[X] make lunch and/or dinner reservations accordingly


[X] make B&B reservations for out-of-town guests


[X] buy wedding bands


[X] his and hers haircuts


[X] book honeymoon in the Pyrénées

Am I forgetting anything?

It's hard to believe we have EVERYTHING checked off the list in eleven days!

I am just so happy to know that we will be husband and wife very, very soon. Woah, those words are going to take some serious getting used to!

PS- no decorations needed for the ceremony, thank you City Hall!